Occasionally I get really impatient with Jia. It is usually only at bedtime. We've changed our sleeping arrangements and I now lay down with Jia in the big girl bed until she falls asleep and then I get up and have the only time of the day that truly belongs to me. I sleep with her in the big girl bed so we wake together. I get between an hour and a half and two hours to myself each day and this in the evening. This time is precious to me. I've given up my formerly "precious" morning time and now only have that 1-2 hours every night. Lately Jia has needed less sleep and wants to go to sleep closer to 8 or 9 pm. We have to get up at 5:30 ish on work days and I'm an early to bed kind of person so that means in my pre-mommy days I'd go to bed at 9:30 or so. I really struggle to stay up much past that. I came downstairs at 10:20 pm last night after finally getting Jia to go to sleep. Tonight I asked T to come up and help me at 8:30 because she still was not asleep. Thank goodness for him. It bothers me how impatient I get with her. It's not her fault she isn't sleepy. It's not her fault that once she's asleep and I try to creep out of the bed she sits up and cries. But I really struggle with not being frustrated with the whole situation. Once she's old enough not to pull at my legs and cry and whine when she's tired (this usually starts around 6:30 or 7pm) then I'll not stress so much. But I can't get dinner going or do anything I need to do when all she wants is to be held and suck her thumb (signs she's tired - right? I mean she's fed, watered, etc. - yes, I know she's not a plant mom, heh heh) . So I take her upstairs for bath, reading and snuggle bedtime but she lately has begun to think this is now super play time with mommy. Any suggestions? In the meantime, here are beautiful pics from last weekend. I feel soooo guilty when I feel frustrated with Jia. She is such a beautiful, delightful, easy-going child. I think I just need a mommy's night out, which I haven't had since we became a family. I believe it's time for Daddy to take over nights for a while.
4 comments:
I always found "sleep training" the toughest part of raising little ones, too, Beth. You were too young to remember I think, how mom used to have lie down with our little brother David when he was maybe Jia's age. We were living in NC, so maybe he was a little younger, but he'd moved from the crib to the twin bed and couldn't "settle" at night unless someone would lie in the bed with him until he fell asleep and, yes, he too could often tell when she tried to slip out. Sometimes I'd take a turn with him, so she could get a few minutes (which knowing she probably used to wash the dishes or do some other thing that needed doing :-)). I wish I had secret knowledge to share; they finally just grow past this stage and you can get them settled on a different nighttime routine that can be easier to share with the dad--especially when they can really start enjoying bedtime stories being read to them as a way to wind down (although even then I had a tendency to fall asleep in the kids' beds :-)). But you are right, you need to find some "alone" time--I full well appreciate how overtaxed you feel when you work a full day outside the house, only to have domestic duties (even ones that we love) sandwiched on both ends with no time even to soak in a bubblebath, or read the paper. I still get a manicure every other Saturday, which is a legacy from a time that I needed to KNOW that there was some block of time that had nothing to do with being a mom, a wife or an employee of someone else (even though I love all those roles). Twice a month is not enough, of course, but think about putting something like this on your calendar. And then otherwise give yourself permission NOT to do things that need doing--I didn't make beds for at least a decade (still don't do it reliably :-)) and long ago decided that since it's my kitchen, if I'm too tired to do the dishes AND read for pleasure for an hour on any given night, I'm allowed to decide not to do the dishes until morning. In other words, give yourself permission to stop being so demanding on yourself and give yourself, at least some of the time, the same breaks you'd give your best friend in your situation.
Love YOUR Big Sis--Laura
Thank you Laura. I can only say - this post brought tears. Thanks.
I hope that came across the right way - you always have the ability to soothe with your words and the tears were good tears! :)
Ahhhhh, The nights are the worst time for us! I really feel for you! I hope you get a moms night out!!
How 'bout a virtual cup of coffee and a hug?! LOL
I hope your nights get better!
The pictures are lovely!
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